Alt Design – Pineapple Astroturf Kite

Budlofsky: Doesn’t match my style.

Matheson: You ain’t got no style…

I checked out the stoner action epic Pineapple Express over the weekend. It got me thinking about an old charity client of mine who happened to be my best friends son. At 23 he had just moved out of his house and into a rundown, one bedroom apartment. After his first month my friend approached me and begged that I do something to make her son’s hovel a little more livable.

Like Saul Silver (James Franco), her son was a young entrepreneur (a kite maker, not a drug dealer) who worked out of his home. Working at home means two things: 1. You’re home must be comfortable because you’re going to be in it constantly. 2. Depending on your line of business, there are going to be a lot of people tramping through your living quarters.

Most of his apartment was covered with filthy linoleum tiles. They felt sticky, looked disgusting, and even soiled a few of his kites when they fell on the floor. He had a few old posters, relics from college, taped to the walls, but the place felt desolate.

We discussed carpet, art and shelving units, but he couldn’t afford to spend money on investment pieces and wasn’t into Ikea. We struck a solution that centered on basic alternative interior design theory, take something that you enjoy, and transform it into decoration.

This guy loved to be outside, mostly to play golf and fly kites, but he could never find the time. We decided to use Astroturf carpet, a nod to mini-golf, and a clip-system to wall mount his kites like display art. Granted, this unrefined look might only work for a young bachelor, but he loved it. In fact, a recent phone call informed me that he’s taken the idea to his new place, even though his wife has confined his interior decorating efforts to one isolated room.

Indoor Astroturf might not be for everyone but mounting kites can work in a variety of situations. Another friend of mine was fortunate enough to attend the Olympics this year, and he told me over the phone how startled he was by the beautiful kites that were flying everywhere.

After my earlier post on not-hot Olympic gimmicks, I feel it’s good karma to share a happy kite picture. The original picture caption explains that these girls are “welcoming the Olympics” by flying themed kites.

Alt Design – Interior Hair

This is the first post in our weekly Alt Design series, where we find alternative interior design uses for common designer products and random objects.

Decorating walls should be fun and relaxing, but sometimes the pressure of putting together the perfect room can be overwhelming. Bedazzling bare walls should never feel like a chore, so don’t pull your hair out wondering which paint shade goes better with your Christian Bale poster collection. C’mon now, he goes with everything.

Regardless of Christian Bale’s ability to look good with everything (when he’s not assaulting family members), you can use that extra hair you pull out during panic attacks to solve your wall decoration woes.

First, gather some of your detached hair and bundle it like a phantom pony tail. (NOTE: Make sure to choose a visually pleasing elastic or twine!) Get a shadow box picture frame from your local arts and crafts store and hammer a nail in the top-center of the backboard. Now drape the hair over the nail in any style you prefer.

Voila! This looks great alone, but if it doesn’t quite match the aesthetic of your room try surrounding it with a few related objects that bring it all together.

Does framing a lock of your own hair seem a little too weird? Give it to your significant other! Giving a lock of hair remains a timeless symbol of romance and devotion. He or she will admire your creativity.

Still single? Take it out of the frame and hang it above your bed like a dream catcher. No one messes with dreaming dozers who sleep with their own hair hanging over their heads. Trust me.

Does the thought of human hair as an interior design medium gross you out? Share your disgust at the RealTalkDesign.com forum