Hummer Home Design

During this historically difficult economic period for the United States, many of us are in the midst of creating pinched budgets for ourselves, searching Craigslist for rideshares, and sitting on the couch watching the stocks plummet on CNN while cowering under a blanket.

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about the $750 Billion Bailout Package that had just passed in Congress, (which has not really done much other than frustrate an entire nation of already terrified citizens and swell to more like $815 Billion) and now the debate lies over whether Congress should save The Detroit Three from going into bankruptcy. While so many of us witnessed the lack of success of the previous bailout package, it’s become increasingly difficult to gain sympathy for these large companies and the need save them.

Although many believe that bankruptcy would be a good thing and bring a needed makeover for the American auto giants, a clammy stench of impending doom still lingers in the air, “If Detroit loses that many jobs, it will be a total disaster!” While I disagree with this sentiment, I believe it would be unfair to disregard the possibility of such disaster and not offer some type of help.

Forget losing your home, Detroitians– you don’t need them. Instead, I recommend acquiring a Hummer fresh from the shut-down factory in lieu of money for your severance and transporting everything into your magical, new transporter!

The concept of a moving home is not a new one; after all, RV’s have been a part of America’s legacy for over 40 years. And besides just full-time living, a Hummer can be used for brief leisure activities like vacationing or camping. With all that leg room, arm room, and chest room, your Hummer can go from being your bedroom to a full-on party bus, only now with more dignity.

So fear not my friends. For every home lost, there remain at least four cars looking to take a family under their roofs. We will all get through this tough time, complete with love handles and mushy seats and 393 Horsepower.

“One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty, and One Hummer for all!”

Thanks To McDonald’s Monopoly Millions, Player Can Afford The Bad Taste He’s Always Had

9:35 PDT, Daytona, Fla. –

A sudden spike in the Daytona real estate market has occurred, immediately followed by a higher demand for Kawasaki jet-skis.

Financial analysts suspect this increase in mini-mansion tract home sales is due to the McDonald’s Corporation’s Monopoly Instant-Win game, which started just days ago.

Million-dollar winner Kent “Bud” Jessup’s first purchase was a 2004 PT Cruiser with flame decals, and to accompany his new car, Jessup bought his Daytona home.

“I needed somewhere to put her [the PT Cruiser]. So I got one of those houses with the cement half circle outside,” Jessup explained. “And then it just looked uneven, you know? Like a bad boob job. So I got the jet ski.”

Jessup won the McDonald’s grand prize after just 212 visits to the fast-food giant, collecting game pieces by alternately purchasing and eating Chicken Select sandwiches and Big Macs. The odds of winning the grand prize are 1 in 184,698,474. Jessup only gained 26 pounds in his pursuit.

A look inside Jessup’s home reveals his decorating inspiration.

“I wanted something that looked classy, like a ‘The Price is Right’ living room showcase. $10, 000 and up. But then I remembered how much I liked ShaqAttack’s (NBA player Shaquille O’Neal) home on Cribs,” said Jessup.

Jessup chose a “jungle theme” for his furnishings, and filled his living room with couches from La-Z-Boy. Vertical blinds were added to the windows. Plastic palm trees line the walls in what Jessup calls, “an ode to Florida.”

However, Jessup’s favorite part of the home is the master suite, complete with a full-scale replica of O’Neal’s circular Superman bed.

“You know how hard it is to find round sheets? I just don’t use them anymore,” said Jessup.

Interior design experts paneled for this article agreed that money doesn’t account for taste. The designer for Jessup’s home, Bobby Trendy, was unavailable for comment.

For Jessup, this is his dream home, thanks to his McDonald’s Monopoly win. The only problem?

“I haven’t decided where to put my favorite chair.”

Worried about the financial collapse? Learn how to turn your cardboard box into a cardboard home!

Earlier this week the House rejected the Bush Administration’s $700 billion bailout proposal — the always informative and unbiased Wall Street Journal explained it as, “a stunning turn of events that sent the stock market into a tailspin and added to concerns that the U.S. faces a prolonged recession if the legislation isn’t revived.”

Today, after an eternity of contentious and frequently poignant debate, the federal government’s extensive and historic plan to bail out the nation’s financial system was signed into law by the always insightful President Bush. Although this plan is meant to stabilize our economy and build consumer confidence, there is still a great deal of fear and confusion in middle-class America. As this fear spreads across the internet like a pack of drunken wombats ghost-riding through Sydney, everyone is coming up with ideas on how to cope with our new economy. I noticed a post on Yahoo! Answers where a particularly drunken marsupial raised one of the best points I have heard throughout this entire debacle.

“How you gonna feel when you’re living in a cardboard box? And all the government and wall street guys are still living in their castles and mansions?”

The answer to this question is simple: you are going to feel awful. But you will feel better once you’ve upgraded that cardboard box into your personal pimping penthouse. Here are some things to keep in mind when moving into your new cardboard digs:

· Cardboard is versatile. Cut it, shape it, tape it, paint it; you’re the architect of your own dream home.

· Cardboard is environmentally friendly, being made up of about 2/3 recycled fiber and 1/3 virgin fiber.

· You can constantly upgrade your cardboard box home by adding rooms, or ceiling height. Don’t like it? Scrap it and find another box.

Who says that you can’t continue to live the life of style and elegance you were accustom to before our economy fell apart?

Here are some simple ways to turn your cardboard box into a cardboard home.

Step 1 — Find a scheme

You’ll want to consider several different designs to find the scheme that best fits your needs. Schemes are freehand sketches drawn to capture the essence of a plan under consideration, and they can be as simple as paper napkin sketches you designed at your local Yum Yum Donuts (they will gladly lend you a pen). Schemes are valuable tools that will help your initial vision materialize into a magnificent cardboard structure. This process normally takes three to six months, but since our economy is mushroom clouding towards your face, let’s be realistic and say three to six weeks.

Step 3– Develop the design

This is the phase of the process where dimensions are added to your schemes. Everything must be made to fit as you develop your scheme into a firmly dimensioned drawing.

Step 4—Be creative

Your box can be as beautiful/ horrendous as you want it to be. Perhaps you’d like to spice up your bedroom with a jungle theme sure to make your significant other shudders in fear pants with desire. Or maybe you’d like to keep your box simple with a modern minimalist theme of moldy beach towels and garbage. The possibilities are endless. Let your imagination run wild!

Hot or Not – Taxidermy

Interior design can communicate feelings and emotions that are hard to explain with mere words. This is a quality I think modern politicians should take advantage of. However, while pursuing this thought process I became helplessly stuck. I thought, “What aspect of interior design could possibly transcend the social and economic boundaries needed to unite voters under a single leader?”

It hit me so suddenly I felt like a deer running across the highway

Taxidermy!

No one would look away from the television while Barack Obama delivered his State of the Union with the head of a Liger mounted on the wall behind him, and thinking about John McCain running his campaign with two majestic grizzly bears posing at his side gives me the chills.

The power of taxidermy was recently exhibited in Dubai, when Pakistani Artist Huma Mulji unveiled her display, “Arabian Delight,” at this year’s Art Dubai festival. The piece was inspired by the smuggling of contraband items through personal luggage and featured a stuffed camel squashed tightly into a suitcase. The piece stood out at the exhibition, and after the first night the display was removed because it portrayed a sacred animal in Indian culture in an offensive way.

Luckily, America’s most valued animals gain their stature by being the tastiest, so I think it’s safe to say that the majority of American’s would have no problem with steer heads mounted in the oval office above McCain’s desk.

If McCain begins a full taxidermy campaign, Obama will have no choice but to counter with an equally powerful strategy. Perhaps he could take Katy McColl’s advice and begin working with New Jersey road kill, which state officials have recently decided to stop collecting off the road. I’m not implying that Obama should don a fluorescent orange vest and scrape deer off the highway… but it couldn’t hurt.

The full power and influence of interior design has yet to be tapped in the realm of politics. I don’t know who will be the next President of the United States, but I do believe that a strong campaign focused on interior design, and specifically taxidermy, could decide Democracy’s next leader. Spread the word America, the future is staring you in the face.

Real Talk Design Verdict

Taxidermy is hot. Get it stuffed or get out.

Trying to decide what dead animal looks best next to your latest Minjun piece? Discuss at the RealTalkDesign.com forum.

Real Talk Design Community Muxtape

Check out the new Real Talk Design Muxtape! Now everyone can enjoy some theme music while browsing the RealTalkDesign.com forum.

This will be a community project, so forum members can vote on songs they want included in the forum playlist.

Hot or Not – Downloadable Designs bring new meaning to DIY

This is the first post in our weekly Hot or Not Roundup, where we find interesting projects from the design world and decide if they are destined to burn brightly or doomed to fizzle into oblivion

Absolut and TreeHugger have teamed up to demonstrate a new trend: downloadable design. The name really says it all. Customers can download designs from home and have them assembled by local manufacturers or build it themselves. Downloadable Designs make designer furniture more accessible to the average person, and are much more affordable than normal designer work. Downloadable Designs allow home decorators with budgets the freedom to be inspired—and not just by what’s in stock at the Pottery Barn.

This innovation brings new meaning to idea of DIY projects, but who has time to build their own furniture? Hiring a local carpenter is an option, but these custom jobs can get costly. While taking a more active role in the production of your living room furniture reduces carbon emissions by keeping things local, it’s no easy task. So is it worth it?

The design for this versatile and playful laptop table, created by an Interior Design grad student, can be downloaded on the Treehugger website. It’s cute, but cute enough to build yourself?

THE REAL TALK DESIGN VERDICT

Downloadable Designs are hot, check them out before every kid on the block has one. Building it yourself is just part of the adventure.

Have something to say about our decision? Visit the RealTalkDesign.com forum and let your voice be heard

Real Talk Design is Live

Welcome to the official Real Talk Design Blog. The Real Talk Design forum is finally live and picking up users. Head on over and check it out. This blog will soon be reporting all the news that matters from the interior design world. Stay tuned.