Painkiller Peyton

This may be an interior design blog but I’m a huge sports fan and I couldn’t let Peyton Manning’s serious slip in form pass without comment… Do not abandon me readers! I will return with all the interior design goodness you crave. If you feel like crucifying me, flame away on the Real Talk interior design forum.

Following the Colts come from behind victory over the Minnesota Vikings last Sunday many top sports minds speculate the team is merely a pale shade of the 2005-2006 football behemoth that whooped on the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI. In that historic game, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning was awarded the MVP after completing 25 of 38 passes for 247 yards, which included his orchestration of a spectacular Reggie Wayne touchdown.

Fast forward to 2008, the Colts are 1-1 and really deserve to be 0-2. Minnesota’s inability to throw the football is the only reason the Colt’s have a win under their belt. Manning has only thrown two touchdowns this season and appears uncharacteristically flustered inside the pocket.

What could put the veteran golden boy in this spectacular funk? Some believe the loss of Colt’s center Jeff Saturday, as well as guards Ryan Lilja, Mike Pollak and Tony Ugoh has led to their leader’s dramatic discombobulation. However, I believe the problem runs much deeper, a player like Manning shouldn’t loose his rhythm so easily.

My hypothesis: Peyton Manning has a painkiller addiction.

Manning’s durability is astronomical, but could it really last forever? Even the immortal Tom Brady finally succumbed to injuries this season. Are we supposed to believe that Manning has started 160 consecutive games injury free?

The signs of a painkiller addiction are horrifyingly apparent: First, Manning weathered an injury in the offseason which prevented him from playing any preseason games. Translation: he was too drugged out to play and was desperately trying to clean himself up.

Second, Manning looks like a cadaver in a football uniform. His skin is yellow, his eyes are barely open and he has experienced significant weight loss. Football players are supposed to gain weight in the offseason! (I’m looking at you JaMarcus Russel) Unless they’re on a strict weight-loss program most football players shouldn’t be losing weight when they’re not playing. Manning wasn’t very large to begin with, but in his current state he makes Martin Grammatica look like a linebacker.

Third, Manning’s ability has declined beyond mere trepidation or anxiety. He’s not the sharp, ultra-clutch Manning that once set the record for most touchdowns in a season. Manning’s throws lack the glorious zip and mind boggling accuracy that once marked him as a football hero. I’m assuming that’s what happens when you try and throw a football during a painkiller-induced haze.

What could reduce Manning to this sad state? Perhaps it was being usurped by his little brother Eli as the best Manning in the NFL. Perhaps it was having his single season touchdown record broken by Tom Brady. Or perhaps, dare I say… his Mojo is gone forever.

Alt Design – Pineapple Astroturf Kite

Budlofsky: Doesn’t match my style.

Matheson: You ain’t got no style…

I checked out the stoner action epic Pineapple Express over the weekend. It got me thinking about an old charity client of mine who happened to be my best friends son. At 23 he had just moved out of his house and into a rundown, one bedroom apartment. After his first month my friend approached me and begged that I do something to make her son’s hovel a little more livable.

Like Saul Silver (James Franco), her son was a young entrepreneur (a kite maker, not a drug dealer) who worked out of his home. Working at home means two things: 1. You’re home must be comfortable because you’re going to be in it constantly. 2. Depending on your line of business, there are going to be a lot of people tramping through your living quarters.

Most of his apartment was covered with filthy linoleum tiles. They felt sticky, looked disgusting, and even soiled a few of his kites when they fell on the floor. He had a few old posters, relics from college, taped to the walls, but the place felt desolate.

We discussed carpet, art and shelving units, but he couldn’t afford to spend money on investment pieces and wasn’t into Ikea. We struck a solution that centered on basic alternative interior design theory, take something that you enjoy, and transform it into decoration.

This guy loved to be outside, mostly to play golf and fly kites, but he could never find the time. We decided to use Astroturf carpet, a nod to mini-golf, and a clip-system to wall mount his kites like display art. Granted, this unrefined look might only work for a young bachelor, but he loved it. In fact, a recent phone call informed me that he’s taken the idea to his new place, even though his wife has confined his interior decorating efforts to one isolated room.

Indoor Astroturf might not be for everyone but mounting kites can work in a variety of situations. Another friend of mine was fortunate enough to attend the Olympics this year, and he told me over the phone how startled he was by the beautiful kites that were flying everywhere.

After my earlier post on not-hot Olympic gimmicks, I feel it’s good karma to share a happy kite picture. The original picture caption explains that these girls are “welcoming the Olympics” by flying themed kites.

Hot or Not – Olympic Furniture

It’s no surprise that the 2008 Olympics are filled with western marketing ploys. The big interior design news is that Staples will be the official furniture provider for the international games. Staples has been much more low key about their Olympic involvement than fellow sponsoring giants McDonalds, but leaked information claims they are coming out with a Special Olympic Edition line of furniture, which brings us to abominations like this Olympic Web Cam.

The Olympic games may be magical, but that doesn’t mean everything they spawn is golden. There’s a fine line between spirited conversation pieces and tacky dust collectors. Staples hasn’t gone public with their Olympic line of furniture yet, but word is it will feature unique table and chair sets inspired by the five ring colors and the steel architecture of Beijing National Stadium (FYI: disillusioned stadium designer Ai Weiwei has a lot to say about the Chinese government).

There’s no telling how this furniture will look, but I think one should purchase furniture pieces that last longer than the next international sporting event. Buying furniture inspired by traditional Chinese design movements, like lacquered chests or shelving, might be a much better way to design with the spirit of the Olympics in mind. Buying a piece of furniture featuring specific 2008 Beijing Olympic themes could get old fast… really fast.

This solid rosewood Mahjong table set is classic and high quality. It would be a great personal reminder of the Olympics and it’s a piece that would last a lifetime.

Real Talk Design Verdict

Even though we haven’t seen it yet, we’re going to assume that Staples sponsored Olympic themed furniture is going to be more gimmick than substance, it’s definitely NOT something to purchase.

I hate to end on a negative note, the internet is filled with enough hate already. So I’ll leave you with this…

The most stunning example of interior design in the Olympics is the wonderful new subway designs created by Professor Song Xiewei, which now grace the Beijing Olympic subway branch line.

Design on Film – Lost in Translation

Last night I decided to take a midweek break and relax with Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation. It wasn’t the first time I had seen it but was the first time I noticed the amazing interior design, most noticeably in Bob Harris’ (Bill Murray) Park Hyatt Hotel room.

I can’t imagine any Tokyo interior style but the ultra-sleek and modern, which was executed marvelously in Bob’s hotel room. Our local surroundings have an obvious effect on how we decide to design and I loved how the cityscape visible through the window popped out from the rest of the room almost like a painting. You can see the immense, bustling city, which is a wonder in and of itself, and the more delicate and quiet room that it inspired in the same field of view. It’s like listening to a piece of music and knowing exactly what the musician was thinking when he or she wrote the song.

I feel quite differently about the bar and lounge area where Bob and Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) meet for drinks. In that room I was struck by the contrast between the cold looking city and the warm, welcoming bar. The deep colors and velvety textures do a lot to warm up the room, and I think the candles placed under the opaque shades add a nice finishing touch.

The design themes presented in these pictures showcase the different ways interior designers can play off the contrast between indoor and outdoor environments. The first room focuses on modern style and the second exudes a more familiar classic approach.

Want to share your favorite design on film? Give it a try over at the RealTalkDesign.com forum.

Alt Design – Keyboard Wall Decoration

I finally gave in and upgraded my old computer keyboard for a sleek new wireless one. The time I spend typing on the couch across the room has given me some great ideas, especially for alternative interior design uses with my old keyboard.

I decided to rip my old keyboard apart and use it for some classic DIY home decoration. This project is fun, simple and a good way to cut down on electronic waste.

The picture represents only one of the many keyboard decorating possibilities you can explore. Frames can make things look more put together, and any extra metal hardware can add a harder, more industrial look. Build something yourself and share it on the Real Talk Design forum!

Hot or Not – Taxidermy

Interior design can communicate feelings and emotions that are hard to explain with mere words. This is a quality I think modern politicians should take advantage of. However, while pursuing this thought process I became helplessly stuck. I thought, “What aspect of interior design could possibly transcend the social and economic boundaries needed to unite voters under a single leader?”

It hit me so suddenly I felt like a deer running across the highway

Taxidermy!

No one would look away from the television while Barack Obama delivered his State of the Union with the head of a Liger mounted on the wall behind him, and thinking about John McCain running his campaign with two majestic grizzly bears posing at his side gives me the chills.

The power of taxidermy was recently exhibited in Dubai, when Pakistani Artist Huma Mulji unveiled her display, “Arabian Delight,” at this year’s Art Dubai festival. The piece was inspired by the smuggling of contraband items through personal luggage and featured a stuffed camel squashed tightly into a suitcase. The piece stood out at the exhibition, and after the first night the display was removed because it portrayed a sacred animal in Indian culture in an offensive way.

Luckily, America’s most valued animals gain their stature by being the tastiest, so I think it’s safe to say that the majority of American’s would have no problem with steer heads mounted in the oval office above McCain’s desk.

If McCain begins a full taxidermy campaign, Obama will have no choice but to counter with an equally powerful strategy. Perhaps he could take Katy McColl’s advice and begin working with New Jersey road kill, which state officials have recently decided to stop collecting off the road. I’m not implying that Obama should don a fluorescent orange vest and scrape deer off the highway… but it couldn’t hurt.

The full power and influence of interior design has yet to be tapped in the realm of politics. I don’t know who will be the next President of the United States, but I do believe that a strong campaign focused on interior design, and specifically taxidermy, could decide Democracy’s next leader. Spread the word America, the future is staring you in the face.

Real Talk Design Verdict

Taxidermy is hot. Get it stuffed or get out.

Trying to decide what dead animal looks best next to your latest Minjun piece? Discuss at the RealTalkDesign.com forum.

Alt Design – Interior Hair

This is the first post in our weekly Alt Design series, where we find alternative interior design uses for common designer products and random objects.

Decorating walls should be fun and relaxing, but sometimes the pressure of putting together the perfect room can be overwhelming. Bedazzling bare walls should never feel like a chore, so don’t pull your hair out wondering which paint shade goes better with your Christian Bale poster collection. C’mon now, he goes with everything.

Regardless of Christian Bale’s ability to look good with everything (when he’s not assaulting family members), you can use that extra hair you pull out during panic attacks to solve your wall decoration woes.

First, gather some of your detached hair and bundle it like a phantom pony tail. (NOTE: Make sure to choose a visually pleasing elastic or twine!) Get a shadow box picture frame from your local arts and crafts store and hammer a nail in the top-center of the backboard. Now drape the hair over the nail in any style you prefer.

Voila! This looks great alone, but if it doesn’t quite match the aesthetic of your room try surrounding it with a few related objects that bring it all together.

Does framing a lock of your own hair seem a little too weird? Give it to your significant other! Giving a lock of hair remains a timeless symbol of romance and devotion. He or she will admire your creativity.

Still single? Take it out of the frame and hang it above your bed like a dream catcher. No one messes with dreaming dozers who sleep with their own hair hanging over their heads. Trust me.

Does the thought of human hair as an interior design medium gross you out? Share your disgust at the RealTalkDesign.com forum

Design on Film – The Dark Knight Legacy

This is the first installment of our new weekly series Design on Film, where we look at interior design as portrayed in some of our favorite cinematic adventures

A lot has changed in the past decade, but one thing’s still certain: people love Batman. The 1995 production Batman Forever was hot…when it came out.

A recent look at Bruce Wayne’s (Val Kilmer) Oliver’s People glasses and power ties sent me running back to Christian Bale and The Dark Knight. But not everything is dated; set director Elise ‘Cricket’ Rowland kept Bruce’s office spacious and sleek. Neutral color palettes are the smartest choice for an office, but all the gold shades were a little too glitzy for me. I think the light shades of Bruce’s office and corporate life were meant to contrast with the dark, cavernous bat world. This contrast in interior designs is subtle but important in setting the mood. It’s a little more obvious in the disparity between the ritzy, uptown sections of Gotham and the rundown back alleys: Wayne Enterprises’ ball versus Robin’s joyride and street brawl mishap. All the neon lighting used in the city, especially the glow stick creations that the city-people wore, reinforced the contrast between the uptown corporate and downtown worlds.

In Dark Night they made Gotham look more like normal Chicago, but the design inside Wayne’s inner sanctum had this wonderful minimalist-industrial look that I can’t resist (well done Peter Lando). Batman’s underground equipment room, where all the gadgets came to life, was simply an empty, fluorescent swathed garage. Usually, movie “equipment rooms” are plastered with clutter and animated thingamabobs (think Back to the Future or James Bond films) so the use of empty space in Dark Night was surprisingly effective.

Wayne interiors have this wonderful dark and sophisticated edge. To bad the outside view of Gotham looked so boring.

Have an opinion about our opinion? Let your voice be heard over at RealTalkDesign.com

Real Talk Design Community Muxtape

Check out the new Real Talk Design Muxtape! Now everyone can enjoy some theme music while browsing the RealTalkDesign.com forum.

This will be a community project, so forum members can vote on songs they want included in the forum playlist.

Hot or Not – Downloadable Designs bring new meaning to DIY

This is the first post in our weekly Hot or Not Roundup, where we find interesting projects from the design world and decide if they are destined to burn brightly or doomed to fizzle into oblivion

Absolut and TreeHugger have teamed up to demonstrate a new trend: downloadable design. The name really says it all. Customers can download designs from home and have them assembled by local manufacturers or build it themselves. Downloadable Designs make designer furniture more accessible to the average person, and are much more affordable than normal designer work. Downloadable Designs allow home decorators with budgets the freedom to be inspired—and not just by what’s in stock at the Pottery Barn.

This innovation brings new meaning to idea of DIY projects, but who has time to build their own furniture? Hiring a local carpenter is an option, but these custom jobs can get costly. While taking a more active role in the production of your living room furniture reduces carbon emissions by keeping things local, it’s no easy task. So is it worth it?

The design for this versatile and playful laptop table, created by an Interior Design grad student, can be downloaded on the Treehugger website. It’s cute, but cute enough to build yourself?

THE REAL TALK DESIGN VERDICT

Downloadable Designs are hot, check them out before every kid on the block has one. Building it yourself is just part of the adventure.

Have something to say about our decision? Visit the RealTalkDesign.com forum and let your voice be heard